Living with Kristina

I have told you that I am now living with my daughter, Lola Kristina, in Fort Wayne, Indiana.  She and her two daughters, Adrian (who will be 15 on July 3rd) and Kate (who is 13 1/2), are taking very good care of me.  Since I got here on May 27th, I have let 2 notches out on my belt and rest with the snap on my shorts undone.  As I mentioned in my first post after arriving in Indiana, when I was admitted to the hospital, I only weighed 115 pounds.  I weighed today for the time since I've been here, and I can't believe it -- I weigh 137 pounds!!!  Every morning with breakfast, I have two cups of hot mocha, and with dinner I have a cup of hot chai.  Heck, I didn't even know what either one of those drinks were before I moved here!  Now I can't imagine having meals without them!

1021 Perry Woods Cove, Fort Wayne, Indiana -- My new home!

I wanted Kris to tell you a little bit about our day-to-day life here and how I'm fitting in, so she agreed to help me with this blog post.

Kris moved to Fort Wayne in September, 2002, to accept a VP/Marketing position at a bank that was relocating its corporate offices here.  Her housing addition is on the far northwest side of Fort Wayne, in an area that is the city's fastest growing area.  A new hospital was just completed in March about 3 miles from her house...Parkview Regional Medical Center.  It is right off I-69, and when being built, was the United States' largest hospital construction at the time.  It has 9 stories and over 450 beds.  I never want to see one of those beds, but thought it was a good indication that the area where we live is thriving.

After 2 1/2 years at the bank, Kris lost her job, and the timing was just awful...two year's into George W. Bush's second (disastrous) term.  She said it was a very shocking, stressful, and humbling experience -- always being recruited to take a new position -- 12 years at her first bank in Bloomington, 12 years at her next bank in Muncie, then getting sweet-talked into coming to this job in Fort Wayne, only to have the rug pulled out after just getting settled in.

But as the old saying goes, "When one door closes another door will open."  Kris's two daughters had started dancing at a nearby studio -- Steppin' Out Studio of Dance, which is about 2 minutes from her house -- in the fall of 2004 when it first opened. A year after losing her job, she contacted the owner, Beth Berry, and told her she needed to cut back on the number of dance classes the girls were taking for the 2006-07 dance year.  Beth's husband called Kris back and said, "You are not going to pull those girls out of any classes.  We'll work something out."
 

Steppin' Out Studio of Dance

Kris started helping out the office manager, Ashlie, on some registration work.  She immediately noticed how nearly everything was done by hand.  So she began computerizing things.  With the exception of the accounts payable (monthly dance tuition) information, everything else was done with a pencil, paper, and a calculator.  Putting together class schedules, figuring up monthly tuition, sending information about the dance schedules, costume invoices, and all other correspondence...it took tons of paper and endless rolls of stamps.  Kris bartered the girls' tuition that dance season by putting all relevant information on Microsoft Excel for quick invoicing and reports, plus set up e-mail contacts for all the parents and other tasks Beth needed help with.

Within a year, Kris became a paid employee, taking over the office manager position full-time, so Ashlie could begin teaching dance classes at the studio.  Earlier that summer, owner Beth Berry decided to move to Los Angeles with her youngest daughter, Adrienne.  Beth's older daughter, Rachel, was in her senior year there at Chapman University.  She was majoring in film production and broadcast journalism, and during a visit to see Rachel, Adrienne was encouraged by one of Rachel's professors to talk with some talent agents to see about becoming an actor!  She was signed within weeks and, among other shows, has been on Disney (Hannah Montana), Nickelodeon (Victorious), and Fox (Glee). She's also done commercials, music videos, and magazine and catalog modeling.  Before they left for California, Beth told Kris she wouldn't be able to go if she couldn't leave the studio in Kris's good hands.  Beth and Adrienne still live in L.A., but Beth comes back to Fort Wayne 3-4 times each year to make sure everything is going smoothly and to supervise the June recital.

Kris has enjoyed getting to know the other dance parents and seeing the students grow in their love of dance and all that comes with it...poise, confidence, and building friendships.  Her business and marketing background comes in very handy.  Recognizing that an important business development strategy is ongoing information-sharing with the dance parents, she started a monthly newsletter, redesigned and expanded the studio's website, and set up a facebook page.

Two receptionists now work the front office, and Kris has moved to an office on the far-end of the building, so she has the privacy to focus on the business-end of things, handling all the financial operations and pretty-much everything else that's part of the dance studio business that isn't teaching dance.  There are currently 9 teachers, the 2 receptionists, and Kris.

Kris's Office (pictures of her girls each year they have danced,
a small flat-screen TV, and refrigerator for cold drinks)

Kris's Office (desk)

Kris's Office (credenza and Chinese scroll)

Beth, of course, is very much involved from California -- with ongoing phone/e-mail/texting with staff and parents, assigning students to classes, ordering costumes, and overseeing the recital responsibilities.  The studio has almost 400 students, and in only 8 years of operation, is Fort Wayne's largest dance studio.

Before I got here, Kris said it wasn't unusual for her to go to the office around 7:30 in the morning if the girls wanted to be driven to school instead of riding the bus, breaking around 2:00 for lunch, then working until dance classes were finished around 9:30 at night. Working weekends was part of the mix, too, especially when the girls were off doing things with their friends.  As a result, though, Kris's house showed the lack of attention.  When we were driving to Indiana, she told me that she knew I would be disappointed that the house was a mess, but that I would be her inspiration and motivation to get things back in order.  I told her that my military background was helpful to instill the discipline to keep things neat and tidy, and that she just needed to "have a system."  So we've been making progress, day-by-day.  Although Kris doesn't want me to, I've been helping straighten things up, too.  I told her that cleaning is just as good for me as taking a walk, so she quit fussing about it.

As luck would have it, I got here just when school was over for the year, and summer dance activities are somewhat more limited, so Kris has had time to stay with me most of the day, then take the girls to dance Tuesday-Thursday from 5:00-9:00. The studio's recital was the weekend after we got to Indiana.  Kris and the girls had hoped I could go, but I was still much too weak.  If it was held now, I feel sure I would be strong enough to go.

Adrian's Tap (class of 5)

Katie's Lyrical Solo

Adrian had been making breakfast for me most days, but she has had P.E. summer school the past two weeks from 8:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m.  She has one more week of that.  So Kris has made breakfast for me, and our main meal is at about 3:00 p.m.  We watch some cable news, alternating between Fox and MSNBC, sitting on the back deck porch swing and talking, doing household chores, picking up Adrian from Carroll High School after P.E., and running other errands. Kris is keeping me busy, I'm continuing to walk every day, and I am very happy to be resuming my blog and re-connecting with friends and family through e-mail. 

This is the living room of Kris's house.  Before she lost her job at the bank, she began collecting antique Chinese furniture, and now each room has 2-3 pieces. Each room also has Chinese paintings or antique scrolls.

And here I am at my computer which is on top of Katie's Chinese desk.  The antique oak bed that Kris had stored in the garage is very comfortable, and with flannel sheets and a comforter, I'm plenty warm, even though the girls like having the AC on.  I just keep the vent off in my room and keep the door closed most of the time.

When Kris and the girls are gone, I usually am in here.  I have a large flat-screen TV to watch and my computer to tinker on, so I'm pretty-well set!

Best Father's Day EVER!

 Father's Day 2012

After all I've been through the past month, I have to say that this would definitely have to be the Best Father's Day EVER!  I know for sure that the decision to move back to Indiana with Kris was the right one.

Fort Wayne is really starting to feel like home now, and I'm feeling stronger every day.  Today "my girls" got me a wonderful Father's Day card and made dinner.  Kris asked me what I wanted, and I said meatloaf.  The rest was a surprise.  They made mashed potatoes and gravy, stir-fried green beans, and a fruit salad with 8 different fruits -- pineapple, peaches, oranges, cherries, blueberries, strawberries, red raspberries, and bananas.  Now I'm stuffed.

Here's what my Father's Day card said:

A good man leaves everyone he meets feeling
a little better than they did before.
He's a pleasure to be around,

an inspiration in good times and bad,

a gift for all seasons.

The things you've done

and the truly good man you are

make you someone very special.

Have a Happy Father's Day!

I did!  Here are some more pictures from today, taken by Kris's friend, Staci Ohlwine.  She and her husband, Kerry, stopped by after church.  They are the friends who rescued us from I-69 south of Fort Wayne after we had our 2nd flat tire of the day. 

Back Home Again in Indiana

I am once again a Hoosier! 

I now live with my daughter, Kris, and my two granddaughters, Adrian and Katie.  Fort Wayne is my new home.  And I have a new e-mail address: rlaughlin2@gmail.com

So how did this all come about?  Well, it is not a pretty story, but I am feeling much better about things now than when this sordid tale began.  My stamina and strength started fading early in 2012, and I got to the point where I had no appetite and no energy for anything but the most simple of chores.   After collapsing on the driveway on May 17th, when taking my trash to the curb, I knew I had to call 911.  So they carted me off to the Hudson Medical Center, and I spent the next five days there.  

After several tests, pokes and prods, I  learned that my pancreas "is shot."  It caused a blockage that didn't permit the common tube from the pancreas and liver to let bile flow, so in a matter of days (before being hospitalized), I became jaundiced. It was a condition nearly impossible to screen for, so earlier diagnosis was really not possible.  By the time jaundice is detected, it is far too late for treatment in nearly all cases.

However, what the docs were able to do for me was to put a stent (plastic tube) in to permit bile to move again, and they told me that it will provide me with relief.  The interesting thing is that I was never in any pain before this.  I was just weak and lost quite a bit of weight.  I only weighed 115 pounds when I was put in the hospital. 

Kris flew to Florida on Sunday, May 20th.  Her girls were still in school, so she had to make arrangements for them to stay with other folks in Fort Wayne while she came to be with me. On Monday, May 21st, she was able to bring me back to my house.  I wasn't jaundiced anymore, but I was still very weak. 

Realizing that I couldn't live alone anymore, I agreed to come back to Indiana with Kris.  It was hard for me to leave Florida -- I truly loved it there -- but I had to do it.  Kris and I had often talked about moving back (after she adopted the girls), but Lomie and I felt Florida was home, spending 26 years there.  Kris had no trouble convincing me that she and my granddaughters were thrilled that she would be kidnappng me back to the Hoosier state.

We met with a Realtor on Wednesday to get the house on the market, and on Thursday, Kris met with a woman who owns a company called "Everything in the House," to take care of selling the furniture and other things we left, plus clearing everything else out of the house.

Kris packed up what we needed to take from my den on Tuesday and part of Wednesday, finished packing things from my bedroom also on Wednesday -- taking mostly summer clothes, but a few long pants and sweaters and a jacket for later.  Lomie's room was pretty much already sorted through, because I spent a lot of time doing that after she passed last August. Thursday and Friday, Kris boxed up a few things in the living room and kitchen.

On Saturday, after loading the last few boxes in my Cadillac Eldorado, we were ready to head north shortly before noon.  Kris said the car looked like the Clampett's from The Beverly Hillbillies.

It was Memorial Day weekend, and Kris had mentioned earlier in the week, when we were deciding when to start the drive to Indiana, that she didn't want to drive through Atlanta on a Friday afternoon before a major holiday.  So I thought, "Why not Thursday?"  But that idea was quickly abandoned when Kris told me there was a lot of stuff she still needed and wanted to go through...photos, old dishes and cookware, crocheted pillowcases and such, and other momentos from her childhood.

Even with the air conditioner running in the car, it couldn't have been hotter driving.  It was 97-98 degrees outside all day.  About 30 miles south of Atlanta, at around 4 p.m., we got backed up on I-75.  We moved only a mile or two in 2 hours, then were detoured west 8 miles (then north) to get back to I-75.  A semi had wrecked at 1 p.m., then caught on fire. 

Throughout the trip, we hit rest areas for most of our "pit stops," but I was still so weak, that walking was a struggle.  Kris steadied me to the door of the men's room and waited until I came back, then walked me back to the car.  The only other times we stopped was to gas up or go to a drive-up for sandwiches and cold drinks.

We continued north for a few hours more on Saturday, and stopped for the night at a motel just south of Chattanooga around 10:30.  Sunday morning, we got back on the road by 8:30.  It was still blistering hot outside.  We made good time until we got near Horse Lake, Kentucky, when the left rear tire blew.  Luckily, Kris was in the right-hand lane and within 30 yards of a rest area.  She called 911, and we were towed about 2 miles to a tire center (owned by the tow driver).  About an hour later, we were back on the road. 

Kris and I had been enjoying our time driving together, and when passing through each state said "Goodbye, Florida...Goodbye, Georgia...Goodbye, Tennessee...Goodbye, Kentucky...HELLO, INDIANA!!!"  We were feeling pretty good and looking forward to being in Fort Wayne before dark.

If bad luck comes in 3's, though, we should have known something else was ahead of us.  And our bad luck #3 was about 40 miles away from Kris's house on the north side of Fort Wayne, when another tire blew -- this time it was the right front tire!  Two blown tires in one day?  Seriously?  Once again, we were fortunate to be in the right-hand lane, and coincidentally, we were -- once again -- about 30 yards from a pull-off, this time it was an abandoned weigh station.  Kris called 911 again to get a tow truck.  We knew the car would need to be towed to Fort Wayne, because we needed to get home.  She also called friends to come pick us up.  State troopers stopped and checked to see if we were alright, and one of them told us that the extreme heat was taking its toll on tires over the weekend.  My tires were less than 18-months old, but I guess since I had only driven mostly to Winn-Dixie every week or so, they were not ready for the long-distance inferno.

When Kris's friends got to the weigh station, we told them about our Sunday ordeal.  The tow truck showed up about 5 minutes later, and we decided to take the car to the Wal-Mart tire center about 3 miles from where Kris lives.  We got to Kris's house about 10:30 that night.  The girls were outside with flashlights and had crepe-paper streamers decorating the outside yard light and front door.

I am occupying what was Katie's bedroom.  While Kris was in Florida with me, she had the girls bring in her oak bed with a 6-foot headboard that was stored in the garage.  Katie's twin bed was moved into Adrian's room, so they are sharing a room now.  I am close to the living room and bathroom.  Kris set up my computer on a desk in my room, and she brought me a two-drawer file cabinet so I can re-organize all my papers.

Adrian has been making breakfast for us quite a bit, and Kris makes lunch and supper.  Every night before I go to bed, I drink an Ensure (the muscle-building varity). My appetite has improved each day and so has my strength and endurance. 

On Thursday morning, May 31st, Kris got a call from the Realtor.  There was a very good cash offer on the house!  5 days on the market and we got a very good cash offer!  Hooray!!!

On Saturday, June 9th, I mentioned to Kris that I thought I needed to spend more time up.  Early on, I had just been getting out of bed to eat in the living room at a little table put in front of the Lazyboy, or go to the bathroom.  She said she had gone to sleep the night before thinking the very same thing!  So I decided to try to walk some outside every day.  Kris walked me down her driveway -- it's sloped a little -- and I walked to the next house's driveway and back.  I have been making 3 or 4 walks a day, plus going to get the mail, ever since.  I take my cane with me, but don't use it unless I need it for balance. My distance gets longer each time.

I plan on making more additions to my blog now...so if you want to check in, the Nonagenarian Non-Sense is now 91 and getting better every day.