Comfortable

I’m comfortable with my faith in God. It has nothing to do with rituals, ceremonies or prescribed doctrines. It is my life — and not only on Sunday. I am punished by my sins and rewarded for doing good; it’s the Natural course of life. The God I know does not need to be appeased by my praise or persuaded by my prayers. A simple ‘Thank You God!” for a favor given, is more than enough to satisfy Him. I feel the ordinary beliefs of organized religions are a little absurd. I will not follow another man’s faith through threats of damnation.

Growing Old

If you’ve been following this blog, you have noticed that I’ve been reminiscing a lot about my past life. It is easier than trying to write about a sedentary life or to guess what’s waiting in the future. So I intend to continue to reminisce, but will also try to alternate with thoughts on ‘Growing Old’. First I have to note that Growing Old is not what it’s cracked up to be. It’s just that the alternative is worse.

I’m proud of the six years of service I had with the Army Air Force during WWII. And I’m happy to say that I had a fulfilling career with General Electric. I’m now in my 30th year of retirement, still in good health and, barring a catastrophe, financially secure. And I’m living comfortably in a well maintained Adult Country Club Community. I’ve been very fortunate! My Early Years, Mid Years and Golden Years have been very satisfying. But in Growing Old, I’m beginning to realize that it’s all down hill from here. To tell you the truth; at times, it’s down-right scary; no matter how hard I try to maintain an upbeat attitude.

Meaning

I have a deep need to find a sense in life... I am always trying to find the meaning of things. I’m dissatisfied with exaggerated interpretations.... I want better answers!

Ron & Lomie

I think it was in 1961 that Ronald Reagan visited the GE motor plant in Linton, IN where Lomie and I were employed.. While touring the factory, he stopped for a minute to give the girls on the assembly line a thrill and have their picture taken with him.. Lomie is the one kneeling in front. Pretty enough to be a leading lady in one of his movies!

Great Curve

I see my life as Just One Great Curve.  One good thing following another.  Eventually the curve will turn into a complete circle; the picture will be painted, the story told; and then something else will happen.

The Kid - April 2, 1945

The P-51 Mustang would do anything I wanted it to do. All it and I needed was airspeed and free sky. I must have been getting drunk on 100 octane exhaust fumes. I let the nose drop nearly straight down; the airspeed increased rapidly; my view was of green pastures and cotton fields. I gently pulled back on the stick --- the nose rose through the horizon toward blue sky — up, up, straight up, back, and over — then another steep dive until I pulled back into level flight, completing my first loop in over two years! Lovely, absolutely lovely! I was having the most fun in my life.

I remembered, as a 12 year old kid, looking up from the ground and marveling the beautiful white clouds in the sky. Sometimes that young boy had tears in his eyes, wanting so much just to spend one minute among the clouds. Wow! At that moment, flying a P-51, the kid was in his heaven!

One on One

I accept the words of a doctor, a scientist, or a TV repairman, on trust. I have to, because they have knowledge of which I am ignorant. But when it comes to questions of meaning and purpose, second hand information will not do. If I am to stay spiritually alive, I have to have Personal Words with God — unique confrontations — I cannot survive on second hand faith.

In China Again - May, 2000

It wasn’t long after we got home from our first ‘Journey to China’ that my daughter, Kris thought she needed a baby sister for little Xian Dong. So in May, 2000, I went to China with her again to adopt another baby girl named, QuJie.

The photo is of me and QuJie at the Hong Kong airport. We and Kris are getting ready to board a United Airlines 747 bound for the USA.

QuJie was a quiet and curious baby. Kris, and I had already fallen head over heels in love with her; an attachment that the word ‘adoption’ cannot begin to describe.

Three days before the photo was taken, in a single moment, this sixteen-month old little girl was transferred from one set of hands to another, and from one fate to another. The entire period of her short life was transformed from being abandoned to being treasured.

Kris was very lucky, I knew the joy QuJie could bring to her and Xian Dong. But I could only guess at the loss to the woman who left her day old daughter on fortune’s doorstep. I still wonder what this Chinese woman felt when she gave up her ‘beautiful, healthy little girl’ knowing she faced a life in an orphanage or lucky enough to be adopted and grow up in the United States.
 
Does she think we regard her daughter as a product --- made in China — imported to the USA only because we could afford to????

Play to Win

Life is always expecting something from you. If you set goals, play the game to win, and realize the responsibilities necessary to win, you will never throw away your life. You will know the Why of existence and will find the How to win!

The Greatest Class

It has been said that I belong to the ‘The Greatest Generation’. After recently reading some of the News Letters issued by the Army Air Corp Pilot Class 43-D, I find myself feeling a bit of additional pride. I think that as a member of Class 43-D that I might have claim on the right to say that I also belong to ‘The Greatest Pilot Class’ in U.S. history.

Statistics show that 9,896 of us entered pre-flight schools in August 1942. Only 5,275 of us survived the ground school courses and the ‘check-rides’ to graduate in April 1943. But we still were the ‘largest class’ ever (before or since) to receive the coveted SILVER WINGS as Army Air Force Pilots.

We may not have had our silver wings in time to be the early birds in WWII. But we 19 and 20 year old guys started our training at the beginning of the war and received our wings in time to get into the conflict at the most critical point – when the out-come was still very much in doubt. Most of the greatest air battles and bombing raids, in Europe and the Pacific, were still to be flown. Some of us got there just in time to fly supplies and troops to the CBI theater; keeping the ‘Japs’ from taking all of China and the major bases in the South Pacific, Others dropped the paratroopers where needed and kept them supplied during the invasions of Europe and the Pacific Islands, etc. etc. etc. In other words, we were the guys to jump right into the thick of things and saw WWII to a victorious end.

According to the latest data, there are less than 700 of us old farts that graduated with Class 43-D that are still living. I’m hoping our story can be kept alive...

Before, Now and After?

I’ve always wondered why most people believe so strongly of a ‘Life in the Hereafter’ yet scoff at the notion of a ‘Previous Life’..

I asked Him, "Could I have lived before?"

And He replied with laughter,

"There has to have been a Before

or there could be no Hereafter!"'

Then He added, "I have fun hiding the Past

And the Future I will not tell, but you can bet,

This life will not be your Last!"

My One and Only

Everyone should own a Cadillac once in their life. I bought my one and only in 1993 — A white Eldorado Sport Coupe. It is now 16 years old with less than 26000 miles on it. For the past several years, it has only been pulled out of the garage for short necessary errands and occasional wash jobs. I put more miles on my ‘walking shoes’ than the Cadillac.

A Thought

You put such a stress on wants and expectations when you are young. You learn about the value of contentment and thinking interesting thoughts when you grow old. You also learn late in life not to hold, to give without hanging on, to love freely, in the sense of wanting nothing in return.

In China - 1998

In our quest for Xian Dong, my daughter Kris and I visited many places in China. One place we visited (The Six Banyan Tree Temple) really fascinated me. For a very special reason, it will remain the highlight of my journey.

It was a place of worship. Kris entered one of the pavilions and I followed with Xian Dong. Inside were three golden Buddha, each about 20 feet tall; and on the floor, were about 50 kneeling pads. We looked around in awe for a few minutes. Then Kris knelt on one of the pads. After a minute or so, she took Xian Dong from me and sat her on a kneeling pad next to her.

Well...... in that moment, something happened inside me! Standing behind them, I felt serenity! And a feeling of a deep and spiritual love for my daughter and new granddaughter. It is unforgettable and beyond description. I can tell you, though, that the experience gained from being there, that I am truly Xian Dong’s grandfather. Blood ties could not make me any more so.

Capacity to Enjoy

How should one adjust to old age? Maybe we shouldn’t — but in fact we do. Or at least I did... I've quit doing a lot of things that I used to do when I was young. I found that in the natural course of growing old, my passion for some of the things I used to enjoy disappeared when my capacity to enjoy them was gone. In my humble opinion, that is desirable. Because if my desires outlived my capacity to enjoy, I would then begin to regret growing old, instead of seeing the futility of it all.

Awesome!

This morning, while on my daily walk, I felt at one with God.. I felt extremely happy and completely fulfilled. After twelve days of record breaking cold weather in Florida, the early morning sun’s warmth put rhythm in my stride and seemed to give new beauty to the streets of Summertree. I felt as if I had been climbing up through an overcast sky, and suddenly at that moment, had broken out on top!

It caused me to recall, from my days as an Air Force pilot, one particular dark and cloudy morning. I had just taken-off from Gore Field, Montana in a P-63 King Cobra in route to Fairbanks, Alaska. I was eager to go, but the usual excitement was dampened by the dreary sky above..... Until, I finally broke out above the overcast and saw the sun. It was very nice and pleasant to see the clean white tops of the clouds, remembering their dirty look underneath.

After taking time to look around for a few minutes, soaking up the beauty of the sun shining on the white puffy clouds and the brightness of the blue sky above, I was thrilled and in awe, and casually said, ‘Well God, here I am looking at the world the way you see it!"   He clicked his mike button twice, to acknowledge that I had spoken — that He had heard!

Something to Think About

Spirituality and religion are not the same. Religion can be taught; spirituality cannot. This is why memorizing the Lord’s Prayer and the Ten Commandments, and going to church does not make a person spiritual. A person can be deeply spiritual and never set foot inside a church. Another can attend church regularly, pray and recite creeds, while remaining one whose life expression is the very opposite of spirituality. Religion is something we do, and not doing it is not necessarily a great loss. Spirituality is something we are, and if we do not grow spiritually, we do not grow at all.

There's Just One Lomie

When I see Lomie at work in her flowers, it seems I can hear her say,

“Some people hate life. Not me; just leave me alone and I will enjoy everyday.

I have neighbors who expect the best of everything, disappointed with anything less.

I expect nothing, take what I receive, with no complaints. I find that best.

The great things in life are not found by constant running from here to there,

Just stand still and look around, God has put His Beauty everywhere.”

A Better Play

Ever consider what happens after you die?  Of course you have.  Age lends perspective. 

I have an imagination of my next life, but I don’t have a clue on the departure or the journey. However, I expect that when I get there, it will be much like starting life all over again; a little like on earth, but at a more magnificent place.  And I beleive, if one has lived well, has known the full term of love and has learned from his experience on earth, he can die with a measure of content — clearing the stage for yet a better play.

A Turning Point

During WWII, when flying at night over darkest Africa, I often turned on the auto-pilot, sat back, sipped on a cup of hot coffee and pondered deep questions buried in my mind and dug for the answers. Following is an example of one question that had bothered me for several years and the answer that became a ‘turning point’ in my life.:

Question: What was it that caused me to walk away from the faith of my youth? Was it a sudden single occurrence or a gradual erosion?

Answer: It was a gradual erosion that ended with a bang. I was baptized at age 12.. But as I look back on it, age 12 was too early for me to make a firm religious decision. The erosion began when I was a senior in high school. A very good friend was killed in an auto accident. At his grave-side rites, the Baptist minister came flat out and said my friend could not enter heaven because he had not accepted Christ as his Saviour. I was shocked to tears and felt deep sorrow the effect of the statement had on his parents. . I began questioning Christianity... The questions continued, more so, after enlistment in the Army Air Corp where I began to mix with boys from all walks of life and religions. And even to a greater degree after serving in Africa, the Mid-East, India, China and Burma — mixing with people of all faiths — even native Africans, deep in the jungle, believed in and worshiped God. Suddenly, one very dark night, while flying between Aden and Khartoum, it hit me with a bang!

There is just One True God. A God for all humanity. How we approach Him and how we believe in the here-after, is up to each individual’s Gift for Reasoning.

Worth My Time

I elected to take early retirement from GE because I was burnt out and sick. I was disappointed and bitter. I felt I had neglected my health and family.

Then thankfully, by chance, I read a devotional titled, ‘Worth My Time’.  It made me realize that I was really very fortunate to have been employed by General Electric for 27 years. The daily challenges had made my job interesting and demanding.... and that was the real reason that I spent more ‘time’ at work than was asked for.... Looking back, I now know that I was actually satisfied, and enjoyed all my assignments and the positions held through the years with the company... even the stress and the bleeding ulcers that went with them.

Today, I’m truly grateful to GE, for giving me the opportunity to provide for my family. I no longer lament the personal time I gave. I’m in excellent health and I do not feel that I missed out too much on places to go, things to see and enjoy, or the lost time with my family. The ‘time’ I gave up was well compensated by having a comfortable lifestyle for Lomie, Kristina and myself.... plus I’m still receiving generous retirement benefits.

Lomie and I did not have vacations on the beach, sea-side or mountains.... but we were able to spend two weeks out of each year with her family. That is what she wanted — and I enjoyed it, too.

Thanks again GE. It was ‘Worth My Time’.

KRISTINA

My little girl is wonderful

And sweet as she can be.

What other words of love

Could you expect from me?

She is my little Kristina and

The dearest girl on earth,

And I have always loved her

From the moment of her birth.

Kristina and her darling mother

Are the reason I am writing this,

To say they both belong to me

In every hug and kiss.

I call my early morning walks my 'meditation periods'.  I am in another world --- alone with myself.  I may work through in my mind a problem I'm having with a computer program --- or simply replay an old memory.  I may recall an old friend and an event that I haven't thought about in years --- sometimes, even from another era....  I do not always solve the problems, but a lot of times I do!  And as for the old friend?  I compose a letter to him in my mind that I write later and relive the event with him.  My meditation period sets the tone of the day for me.

Solitude to me is true happiness; most people regard it as pure misery. In my humble opinion, perfect happiness is found in not striving for pleasure.  To put it in more simple words:  If people did not try so hard to have a good time, they would find it easy to be happy.

As an Air Transport Command pilot during WWII, I flew across the Atlantic (equator route) four times. Two from the east coast of South America to the west coast of Africa, and two returning via reverse route. A fuel stop was necessary on each crossing at Ascension. It was thirty-two square miles of volcanic rock, half way between Natal, Brazil and Accra, Ghana. The island had a single airstrip with a hump in the middle.

On my first crossing, I had the opportunity to view a sunset from the top Green Mountain. I was reminded of it later by a writer’s quote. “In writing a Romance novel, there are two things that cannot be described; one is a sunset.”  It was in jest, but I disagree.  I think the following is a good description of the Ascension sunset that I remember to this day:

<<< The hour before sunset, from the top of Green Mountain, is woven with mystic changes as one watches from the height, the horizon barely distinguishable from the skyline. Faintly at first, and then more strongly, the evening mists rise from the heated plains. The outlines of the craters and hills become softened until they resemble a crumpled velvet blanket. The sun, creating marvelous transformation scenes, changing from gold flame to blood red, sinks lower, and dipping into the sea, leaving the world to sudden peacefulness. One may stand on the heights of any mountain, watching the same moon and the same stars, but on Ascension there is that extra thrill of the realization that one is on a tiny island in the middle of a vast ocean, a mere spot of land, almost insignificant, lapped by waves a thousand miles from anywhere.>>>

One day, about ten years ago, I was playing golf --- pleasure was turning to frustration --- and after three bad shots in succession, I uttered to myself,  "God, are you trying to tell me something?"  And suddenly I knew I was never going to break 90 again on a golf course.  Now, I don't even want to try!  I went back to doing the things I feel good doing.  Taking my early morning walks, more reading, some writing, and spending more time with my computerized investment program.

Dad, to most people, was nothing more than ordinary, but I likened him to God. He measured up to the billing. I could write a book about him. I’ve made him the prime subject in several of my stories. His schooling ended with sixth grade. His trade was as an auto and farm equipment mechanic. Before he married Mom, he lived a little on the wild side... loved auto racing and motor cycles. I’ll admit I was his pet — and I adored him. However, my siblings did not have the same affection for him as I. He died in 1976 at age 78.

I can not imagine Heaven being more perfect than I had growing up in a very small Indiana town during the depression era. Life was not full of riches but it was great, I wanted for nothing. Dad worked very hard to provide for his family — and had very little sympathy for men who did not. He was not the kind of man to pet his children, but I never knew him not to take the time to listen to my problems and wants. He taught me the ‘facts of life’ mostly by pranks and teasing – not by lectures. He did not give me many pats on the back or words of encouragement, but I could see it in his face when he was proud of my accomplishments. That’s all I needed to try harder to do even better.

I know most of you will take it as blasphemous, but I simply do not understand the Bible. To me it is mostly parables, allegories and fables — to be interpreted any way one chooses. Revelations probably describes Heaven more than any other book in the Bible. It is a fabulous description, but I would not trade my boyhood in Sandborn, Indiana for an eternity behind the twelve pearly gates of Heaven as I interpreted it in reading Revelations.

The photo is of Dad and his race car, taken about three years before I was born.

There’s Just One Lomie: I met her November 18, 1941. It was love at ‘first sight’! Rev. James Dobson says that love at first sight is not possible.... I strongly disagree. Following is a clip from one of my previous writings on the subject:

What really stirred me up (maybe because it hit me squarely between the eyes) was James C. Dobson, Ph.D. with his answer to the question: Do you believe in love at first sight? His answer: “No way, Jose! Love at first sight is a physical and emotional impossibility.”

How does he know if he has never experienced it? He can only base his theory on the fact that he had to develop a love for his wife by growing into it through the years. Golly, I don’t know whether to feel sorry for him or Shirley.

According to his theory, I should have married my high school sweetheart. We were friends from first grade through high school... Went steady for the last two years, hardly out of each other’s sight. She was yell-leader for the basketball team; I took her home after each game. We studied, danced, swam, partied, petted and attended movies together. We were completely compatible (as friends), I liked her very much, but I don’t think there was one spark of ‘love’ between us. The romance ended when she moved to Florida shortly after graduation.

I was not the world’s greatest lover, but I dated several girls from the time she left until I met Lomie. Some raised a touch of ‘infatuation’ and ‘sexual attraction’, but none came close to the ‘This is the real thing’ until I met Lomie.... and there has never been another feeling, for anyone else even faintly like it, since.

The alarm clock didn’t work this morning. The limo was to pick up Kris and my two granddaughters at 7:30 this morning. I didn’t wake up until 7:15... I woke the girls and they managed to get dressed quickly enough that the limo driver only had to wait about five minutes. They were on the road to Tampa on time. We didn’t have much time for goodbye hugs and tears..... Nor a quick breakfast for them.

It has been a lonely and quiet day. Rain has made it worse. The only good thing is that the TV and computer have gotten a rest. The girls kept both going every minute they were in the house, while they were here. I haven’t been in the mood to fire either of them up today. I do plan to watch the Sugar Bowl game between Florida and Cincinnati tonight, though. Maybe that will help me get back in to my old routine.